I have found that this year has held both the best experiences of my life and the worst.
I began the year in the best possible way…by bidding adieu to my life as a spinster.
On one breezy, spring afternoon, I laced myself into a pretty white dress…and went for a stroll.
There are some people that will tell you that getting married doesn’t feel any different, especially if you’ve already been together for a long time. But I find that I disagree. There was something about that leisurely stroll…when the world seemed to stop and Jess took my hand and asked me to be his wife, now and forevermore. In that moment, I felt the gentle shift as ‘I’ became ‘We’ and realized with certainty and great comfort that I would never again face life’s struggles alone. There is something very empowering about that knowledge…though little did I know that I would be calling upon it so soon.
When I lost my father, I found myself standing before a dark abyss of grief…teetering on the edge, staring into the vast blackness that was filled with my heartache, my anguish...my rage. There were moments when I felt like the ground beneath me was going to crumble and send me toppling in…other times I flirted with the thought of jumping in and letting the darkness consume me. Even now, with the pain still fresh and having to face my 33rd birthday in two days time without my father…I find that I am a woman come undone. The only reason I am able to continue to tell my story is because Jess trails behind me, catching the bits of me that fall away…holding them safely until sleep takes me and he can put me back together again.
He’s a good man, that husband of mine. He is also someone you know.
Nearly five years ago…I started this little blog. Can anyone remember why?
Yes, that’s right. Because of a broken heart.
It is with a bemused smile that I tell you, that the man who broke my heart and spawned this blog…is the same one who has been patiently putting me back together the last few weeks.
It is amazing what a few years apart and a lot of growing up will do for you. :o)
Alas, I never thought the day would come but my time as a spinster is officially over and therefore, it is with a heavy heart that I realize it is time to bring this blog to an end.
…Fear not! While I may have conquered the Spinster World, there’s a whole new world of adventures awaiting me as a newlywed. Please join me as I take on…The Rookie Wife Diaries